HAPPY TO…

MOM:
“There was once a magical elf
who lived in rainbow tree,
down below was small dwarf
who was constantly happy to be.”
You wrote this verse, Joey? Nice!

Joey: “Happy to pee”, mom. “Happy to pee.”

Awwww! How romantic!

Batman's fowl fiend?

Maricel: Joey woke me up this morning to watch this. (Sept 5)

WARRIORS DON’T HUG



Mom: Joey, I need a hug.

Joey: (while wielding his shield and dagger, grim face) Warriors don’t hug!
(He then disarms, smiles and give his mom a hug)

VOCUBULARY WORDS
Joey flunked his Pilipino exam. In one of his essays, his adjective to describe his nanay was “masustansiya”

MR. DJ, MAY I MAKE A REQUEST?
Mama: what song would you dedicate to Ate and why?

Joey: “Gold Mine” I found a gold mine cause she’s a good ate. She always answers my questions.
(Subtext: unlike mama whose mind tends to be everywhere but where he is)

IDOL
Joey watching Bert dancing with the penguins in Mary Poppins.
“Bert’s the kind of person I want to be. Cool and funny.”

SABBATICAL
Joey: Mom, do I have to go to college?
Mom: Yes.
Joey: Mom, can I take a 3 year break before I go to college?

LEMON
Joey: Mom, where’s the nearest junkyard?
Joey wants to look for an old Volks Beetle now so he can start fixing it up and have something to drive when he’s 16.

BEST FOOD IN THE WORLD
Joey: Sometimes I think, what would the world do without pizza.

PERFECT MATCH
Joey: You and Dad are so compatible. Dad is all fun and you are no fun at all.

MOM = WOW

Maricel (Joey's mom) kisses Joey and he reacts: EEEEK!

MARICEL: What? Why “eeek”? You mean I’m an “eeek”?

JOEY: Ay, sorry mom. No you’re not an eek. You’re a WOW.

An "F" in PE

MARICEL: I need to start exercising. I need to lose weight.

JOEY: You should’ve paid more attention in PE

Some day her prince will come

JOEY: Let’s pray for Ate’s husband. That he will be thoughtful and kind, doesn’t drink, that he cares what’s on Ate’s mind, and most of all, that he loves and cares about God. Also that he’ll come home early to take care of his kids and Ate when she’s sick, and that he’ll jump in front of a bullet to save her.

I texted Maricel that Joey’s either wants a bodyguard or Superman for his Ate. He’s also praying that his Ate’s husband will not be from advertising, considering he prayed for someone who will be able to come home early.

CUT-TO: MANHOOD

The day before Joey’s circumcision...
JOEY: So, I am going to be a man tomorrow, Mama?

The day after….
JOEY: Can I have a piece of my foreskin? I can feed it to Jack. (Jack is his pet dog)

Maricel texted Joey’s request to his doctor. The doctor replied:
DR.NAP: You can dry it, stretch, and make it a keychain.

Joey the BladeMaster



MMS from Maricel: Joey was inspired by the Final Fantasy animation movie. He made the design. Recycled old foam board from a Fine Arts project of mine. He got our helper to help cut it out. Written on the blade, in curlicue font:
Thy rod and Thy staff
they comfort me.
Expect this weapon would not be
a comfort to its victims.

the B-I-R-D-S and the B-E-E-S

JOEY: Mom, ate(big sister) was 13 when you got me?

MOM: Yup. Why?

JOEY: When I am 13, can you give me a baby brother or baby sister?

MOM: Let's pray about that.

JOEY: Mom, you still have blood, right? When I'm 13, you can dad can have S-E-X and then I can have a baby brother or baby sister.

MOM: Why do you want one?

JOEY: So, I can practice for when I'm a dad (makes motions to rock a baby).

TOO PUNCTUAL

JOEY: (to the driver) C'mon Eddie! Hurry! We're late for being early!

The Frog and The Flies
Written by Jose Angelo Vicente P. Arenas

Come, come, said the great green frog
Come, all flies, into the misty fog!
With a grin on his face, he made a plan
He planned for a fly race
The race would be fast, as he said, Tout de suite!
The frog leaped in front of the finish line
Watching and waiting
For the flies to start to fly
As they started the race,
All the flies flew at a great pace
As they approached the finish line
The frog leaped out, crying, You are all mine!
The flies were quick, they put up a fight
But the frog was strong, he had lots of might
Up to now, the legend lives on
The story of the noble flies that died that day
But the frog who ate them
Had nowhere to stay
Because his big fat belly
Was filled with fly flambé.

VOCABULARY WORDS

(Joey was trying to get his dad's attention and his dad pretended to not know who he was.)

JOEY: Dad, ano ba! Do you have anoesthesia? I'm your son, remember?

MOM: Isn't is amnesia?

JULIA: Kaya pala it sounded too long.

LIFE FLASHING BEFORE HIS EYES

MARICEL: Joey, a hot flash happens when my whole body suddenly feels hot and I perspire. It's so uncomfortable and it happens almost every hour.

JOEY: Mom, that's been happening to me for the past 10 years... and it looks like it will be for the rest of my life.

DAY OF THE DEAD

JOEY: If I had the power to revive people from the dead, I would revive Jose Rizal. Then I would revive Ayerton Senna. Then Lola Julieta.

Stand behind thee demon!!!

Joey’s prayer: Lord, please don’t let the devil steal my mom’s joy, laughter, and praise for You… and please don’t let them bully her at work.

JOEY FOR HIRE

TXT FROM MARICEL: As we watch “Return of the Jedi”, as always, Joey creates a role for himself. Joey, standing with a toy sword in attack mode stance: “Mama, did you watch Panday? I’m like the angel there with big white wings, a white suit, and a 5-foot sword. I look like Shark Boy. I’m a mercenary.”

MAMA: Joey, I want you to fight for what you believe in. Mercenaries fight only for money.

JOEY: I am like Han Solo. I fight for what I believe in… and for money. For fifty thousand only.

JOEY'S FINAL EXAMS

Scene 1

MARICEL: How was your Pilipino final exam, Joey?

JOEY: A little hard.

MARICEL: Why? What part of it was hard?

JOEY: The words.

Scene 2
Text from Maricel: I just picked Joey up from school, last day of class and final exams. In the pick-up, he said a prayer, "Lord, thank You for helping me in my exams and thank You for the nice kids at La Salle. They are humble and not so sinful."