:)

READY, AIM, FIRE!

JOEY: Mama, what mech warrior do you want to be?

MAMA: I don't want to be a mech warrior. I only want to make love, not war.

JOEY: Then you can be a LOVE MECH! We can set the mech for love. And you can be armed with torpedos of peace.



OPM

MAMA: Joey, come here. Let me teach you how to play the quitar.

JOEY: Mom, I want to make my own music.

~

close enough

JOEY: Mama, I want to watch the Thornberries coz I miss Ate Julia. (Julia is now touring Europe.)

MARICEL: Cause she is like Eliza?

JOEY: Yes!

MARICEL: And who are you?

JOEY: Darwin. (The talking chimp.)

~


IN DOG YEARS

MARICEL: Joey, tell me what you told Ninong Gary about Jesus when he took a video of you kanina.

JOEY: Mama, I forget.

MARICEL: What? How can that be? It was just this afternoon.

JOEY: Mama, don't you know I'm getting old. I'm seven already.

~

Whoa! I know kung-fu!

JOEY: Sometimes, I practice kung-fu with the angels. I practice fighting with them. They teach me how so that if the bad guys come, I can defend my family. So daddy won't have to get rough. I will take care of things.

~

The Trouble with Dying

JOEY: (kneeling down) Lord, I'm wondering why we have to die to go to heaven because I don't want to die but I want to go to heaven. I want to see Jesus but I don't want to die forever.

~


LOOK OUT!

JOEY: Mama, there are two people controlling me-- one boy and one girl. (And he points to his head).

MARICEL: Where there?

JOEY: In each eye, there are tubes from my eyes to my brain.

MARICEL: What are their names?

JOEY: Brad and Meony.
(Joey then takes a sip from his Frappucino.)

MARICEL: So, do they like the taste of that?

JOEY: Oh no, they can't taste. They have to concentrate on looking out for the bad ones.

~

TURNING CARTOONIC

JOEY: Mama, can't we pretend to be cartoonic?

MARICEL: What's cartoonic?

JOEY: Like cartoons! Except we love Jesus.

MARICEL: Why do you want to be a cartoon? I don't want to be a cartoon. I want to be a real mama to my real son.

JOEY: I want to be a cartoon. It's the only place I can have another sister and brother.

~



The makings of a party-preneur

JOEY: Mama, I already have plans for my 8th birthday. I want to bring everybody to Balai.

MARICEL: Why do you want to do it there?

JOEY: I will go up the guard tower and watch everyone having fun.

~


BUCKLE-UP FOR SARS

JOEY: There's still SARS in Cebu, mama. If you get a temperature, go to the hospital right away. Lock all the doors, close the windows, and put on your seatbelt.

MARICEL: Seatbelt? In the hospital?

JOEY: In the car, going to the hospital! You could get bangga you know!'

~


BEHIND THE EIGHT BALL
MARICEL: Joey, your PE teacher says, it would be good for you to have extra training at football school cause you’re good.

JOEY: I don’t wanna, mama. It’s too hard.

MARICEL: What about basketball school?

JOEY: It’s also hard, mama. Can I go to billiards school?

MARICEL: Billiards is not a serious sport.

ON DUTY
JOEY: I don’t want to go to school. I want to stay home and take care of you

MARICEL: Joey everybody needs to go to school to grow and learn.

JOEY: I want to be a security guard. He doesn’t have to go to school for five hours.



SWITCH OFF
JOEY AT 5AM: Mama, I don’t want to go to school.

Joey then saw the light from the streetlamp go out.

JOEY: There goes the light. I wish I was a light. I just need to turn on and off. I don’t have to work.



NOT ALWAYS

After Maricel told Joey a bedtime story about what it means to love, she asked him…

MARICEL: Joey, how do I show you I love you?

JOEY: You kiss me, you hug me, you comfort me, and last but not the least you stay with me... (thinks for a second) … but not always.

AS I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP

As Joey was about to go to sleep...

MARICEL: I can lie down with you for a few minutes, Joey.

JOEY (pulling Maricel down) : You can lie down with me for the rest of your life, mama.



SOLIDER BOY

When Joey was four years old...

JOEY: Mama, when I grow up, I'm going to a soldier and fight in a war.

MARICEL: I don't want you to die early.

JOEY: Don't worry. I will see you in heaven... (two-second pause)... and don't forget to tell my cousins when I'm dead.



THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR

March 2002, Emily and Aleli ask Maricel join Harrison Communications and help out in the Globe Team. Maricel goes to Joey, six-years old at the time, for some advice.

MARICEL: Joey, Ninang Emily and Tita Aleli are asking if I can help them with their work cause they have too much to do. Do you think I should?

JOEY: They're your friends, right? You should help them.

WOLVERINE + WATER ELEMENTAL = WATERINE!!!

JOEY: Mama, if I was a mutant, don’t tell anyone except the family `cause they might think I’m bad.

MARICEL: What about Kuya Ikey?

JOEY: No, don’t tell him. He might tell the guard.

I asked Maricel what’s Joey’s code name and mutant powers.

MARICEL: He said he’s Waterman but I told him that’s the name of a pen. I said, he can be Waterine. Game naman sya. He can attract water even from great distances and then shoot it out. He said sorry for the cracks on in the Ayala flyover. Supposedly happened when he lost his temper.

OF DOGS AND GRANDPARENTS

JOEY (bedtime last night): Lord, please protect Jack (the dog) from SARS. And also lolo and lola (grandpa and grandma).

JOEY (this morning as he woke up coughing): Mama, do you think I have SARS?

MARICEL: Joey gave me a note written on a sheet of Grade 1 pad early this morning: "Drae Mama, I Love You" signed with two interlocked hearts. He said, "Mama, this is for you. The smaller heart is me. Keep this so when I am big and I cannot visit you on Sundays cause I am working, you can open it and remember when I was younger and we played together."

Maricel is my boss and she would usually text us stuff about her seven-year old son Joey. The text above is what finally made me decide to start this blog. It will be a compilation of the strangest, most fascinating, most wise words to come from the mouth a child.