JOEY'S FINAL EXAMS

Scene 1

MARICEL: How was your Pilipino final exam, Joey?

JOEY: A little hard.

MARICEL: Why? What part of it was hard?

JOEY: The words.

Scene 2
Text from Maricel: I just picked Joey up from school, last day of class and final exams. In the pick-up, he said a prayer, "Lord, thank You for helping me in my exams and thank You for the nice kids at La Salle. They are humble and not so sinful."

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Joey: Mama, someone in school said, "I love you" to me today.

Mama: So, what did you say?

Joey: I said, "Stop it! Don't say those things." And then I messed up her hair.

Mama: Who is this?

Joey: It's Jessa, mama. She said it already three times. I keep telling her to stop.

Two stories from the last day of Joey's summer vacation

Story 1: Afternoon, naligo kami sa ulan. Joey, Jack the dog, me. Twas a strong bracing rain during a thunderstorm. Joey, jack both running around the garden, around the house, stciking their toungues out to taste the rain. After that, as he played in the bath tub, he said with a big smile: "I love our home! I love this place..."

And then his face changed, "Mama, I am thinking about all the pooor children who have no homes."

Story 2: As we had dinner, we were watching the news. We caught the story of an amo who threw his maid into jail for stealing stuff from him. They shopwed the maid crying behind bas. Cut to: after dinner. "Mama, if our maids steal, let's just fire them, ok? Don't put them in jail! Cause they are so poor."

Text from Maricel: Is this son God-given or what?

Joey: Mama, I haven't met a nicer girl than you. And even if you are old, you are still pretty to me!

Guessing Game

JOEY: Lord, Thank you for helping me pass the La Salle text. I ask for forgiveness for guessing, but thank You for helping me to guess right. In Jesus name."

Lifestyles of the Rich and Crowded

Joey and his family had dinner at the mansion of the Filipina Princess of Burnei. After surveying the humongous house, the gardens, and pools, Joey said: I think it's hard for the princess to be happy. When you're rich, people crowd you a lot.

Joeyzilla

After watching the Godzilla movie, Joey declared: I am going to mutate a lizard and make another Godzilla... but I will make sure it never goes inside mama's room.

WHY I BELIVE IN GOD
by Joey Arenas (age 8)

1. I beliv in God bcase? My mother togth me that He ws real when I was yung.
2. I got interested in His power
3. I learned why He died for us
4. Last year, I gave my life to God
5. My papa told me He carfuly made me
6. I belived in Him because of a dream
7. When I woke up he spoke to me
8. I ws astonished by his words
9. He sved me every time
10. So I gave my life to Him
11. I question myself time and time again
12. In church Its like Im in His palace
13. He put a baner over my life
14. He changed my world forever

GROW TALL LITTLE MAN

DAY 1

JOEY: Mama, I want to grow taller. Whats hould I do?

MAMA: Eat the right food, get enough sleep, and let's pray.

(So, Joey prays and dutifully goes to sleep right away)


DAY 2

JOEY (as soon as he opens his eyes): Mama! Did I grow taller?

Cut-to: evening, during dinner time

JOEY (worried and serious) Mama, Tahnee and Joshua said I shrank. I think you need to get me STAND HIGH HEIGHT ENHANCERS.

MAMA: What is that?

JOEY: It's a special kind of sandal with a cream that makes your feet grow tall. It's from China. I saw it on the TV!

MAMA: Joey, I wouldn't want to be taller only because I had really fat feet. Anyway, I don't think that's true.

JOEY: Mama, it's true! The Chinese are really taller than Filipinos.

from the kid's menu

Waiter: Try the "Happy Turkey" sandwich, ma'am. It's a favorite among children.

Mama: You want to try the "Happy Turkey" sandwich, Joey?

Joey: How can it be happy if it's dead?

Lions and Tigers and Molluscs! Oh my!

MOM: Ok Joey, what do you call a mollusc witha two-part shell?

JOEY: A bivalve!

MOM: A one-part shell?

JOEY: A carnivalve?


SUPERJOEY

JOEY: I want to a hero. I will be the only national hero that's alive.


KABOOM!

MOM: Joey, at some point you have to learn to study by yourself. when do you think you should start?

JOEY: But mama, I'm like a bomb. I can explode anytime. I told you I can't control myself. I need someone to control me.


BAD LUCK JOE

JOEY: Mama, I am praying to God to not make me happy because everytime I'm happy something bad happens after 15 minutes.

MOM: Here's a new toy helicopter for you. How do you feel?

JOEY: (smiles and then treis to be serious) I am happy but I'm trying hard not to be.

REVISING HISTORY

Text message from Maricel: Joey so funny. He was bored doing a report on Filipino heroes based on what he read. He wanted to change their life stories and invent stuff. Bagong idol nya si Gregerio del Pilar. Bat daw si Rizal ang national hero. Dapat yung idol nya.

(Joey might grow up to become a great spin doctor)

HELLBLAZER

JOEY: Mama, there are two doors right? #1 to Heaven. #2 to Hell. I choose #2!

TOP OF THE CHARTS

JOEY: Mom, can you come here? I want to sing a song to you. it's a quick song. "I love you forever" (Strumming guitar, starts singing)

"i love you forever

i love you forever

i kiss you in morning sun

i love you forever

i love you forever

i love you forevermore."

JUST ONE MEETING

JOEY: Mama, my program is today at 10. I am a Muslim warrior with a sword.

MOM: I am sorry Joey but I have a meeting. Can you just show it to me now?

JOEY: Ok. (Joey goes through all the motions and then goes up to his mom) Oh please mama, can just please miss one meeting?

Afterwhich Maricel texted us: Half day ako.

Ahhh... the power of the child. :-)

YOU CAN CALL ME...

MOM: Joey, write your name on your paper.

JOEY: Oh, do I have to?

MOM: Yes! How will the teacher know its yours?

JOEY: Mine will be the one without the name.

.

TOMORROW STORIES

(This was Joey's prayer the day Mr. Caloy Abrera died.)

Joey: Please help Ninang Emily to be okay tomorrow. And please protect Tito Caloy in Heaven.

Mama: Joey? Why not today?

Joey: She needs to cry for awhile... sometimes people need to cry for awhile.

.

FOR MATURE USERS ONLY

Joey: Mama! I am a big boy na! I don't want to use the toothpaste with Elmo anymore. I want the one with Cookie Monster!


A PRAYER FOR THE MEN IN TIGHTS

Joey: Dear Lord, please bless the wrestlers and help them stay alive.

:)

SUPERMOM

JOEY: Mama, if I forget to wear my parachute before jumping out of the plane, what would you do? Would you catch me?

:)

While having lunch at Pagliacci, Podium...

JOEY: When I have a date, I will bring her here.

(The kid's got class.)