Joey the BladeMaster



MMS from Maricel: Joey was inspired by the Final Fantasy animation movie. He made the design. Recycled old foam board from a Fine Arts project of mine. He got our helper to help cut it out. Written on the blade, in curlicue font:
Thy rod and Thy staff
they comfort me.
Expect this weapon would not be
a comfort to its victims.

the B-I-R-D-S and the B-E-E-S

JOEY: Mom, ate(big sister) was 13 when you got me?

MOM: Yup. Why?

JOEY: When I am 13, can you give me a baby brother or baby sister?

MOM: Let's pray about that.

JOEY: Mom, you still have blood, right? When I'm 13, you can dad can have S-E-X and then I can have a baby brother or baby sister.

MOM: Why do you want one?

JOEY: So, I can practice for when I'm a dad (makes motions to rock a baby).

TOO PUNCTUAL

JOEY: (to the driver) C'mon Eddie! Hurry! We're late for being early!

The Frog and The Flies
Written by Jose Angelo Vicente P. Arenas

Come, come, said the great green frog
Come, all flies, into the misty fog!
With a grin on his face, he made a plan
He planned for a fly race
The race would be fast, as he said, Tout de suite!
The frog leaped in front of the finish line
Watching and waiting
For the flies to start to fly
As they started the race,
All the flies flew at a great pace
As they approached the finish line
The frog leaped out, crying, You are all mine!
The flies were quick, they put up a fight
But the frog was strong, he had lots of might
Up to now, the legend lives on
The story of the noble flies that died that day
But the frog who ate them
Had nowhere to stay
Because his big fat belly
Was filled with fly flambé.

VOCABULARY WORDS

(Joey was trying to get his dad's attention and his dad pretended to not know who he was.)

JOEY: Dad, ano ba! Do you have anoesthesia? I'm your son, remember?

MOM: Isn't is amnesia?

JULIA: Kaya pala it sounded too long.

LIFE FLASHING BEFORE HIS EYES

MARICEL: Joey, a hot flash happens when my whole body suddenly feels hot and I perspire. It's so uncomfortable and it happens almost every hour.

JOEY: Mom, that's been happening to me for the past 10 years... and it looks like it will be for the rest of my life.

DAY OF THE DEAD

JOEY: If I had the power to revive people from the dead, I would revive Jose Rizal. Then I would revive Ayerton Senna. Then Lola Julieta.

Stand behind thee demon!!!

Joey’s prayer: Lord, please don’t let the devil steal my mom’s joy, laughter, and praise for You… and please don’t let them bully her at work.

JOEY FOR HIRE

TXT FROM MARICEL: As we watch “Return of the Jedi”, as always, Joey creates a role for himself. Joey, standing with a toy sword in attack mode stance: “Mama, did you watch Panday? I’m like the angel there with big white wings, a white suit, and a 5-foot sword. I look like Shark Boy. I’m a mercenary.”

MAMA: Joey, I want you to fight for what you believe in. Mercenaries fight only for money.

JOEY: I am like Han Solo. I fight for what I believe in… and for money. For fifty thousand only.

JOEY'S FINAL EXAMS

Scene 1

MARICEL: How was your Pilipino final exam, Joey?

JOEY: A little hard.

MARICEL: Why? What part of it was hard?

JOEY: The words.

Scene 2
Text from Maricel: I just picked Joey up from school, last day of class and final exams. In the pick-up, he said a prayer, "Lord, thank You for helping me in my exams and thank You for the nice kids at La Salle. They are humble and not so sinful."

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Joey: Mama, someone in school said, "I love you" to me today.

Mama: So, what did you say?

Joey: I said, "Stop it! Don't say those things." And then I messed up her hair.

Mama: Who is this?

Joey: It's Jessa, mama. She said it already three times. I keep telling her to stop.

Two stories from the last day of Joey's summer vacation

Story 1: Afternoon, naligo kami sa ulan. Joey, Jack the dog, me. Twas a strong bracing rain during a thunderstorm. Joey, jack both running around the garden, around the house, stciking their toungues out to taste the rain. After that, as he played in the bath tub, he said with a big smile: "I love our home! I love this place..."

And then his face changed, "Mama, I am thinking about all the pooor children who have no homes."

Story 2: As we had dinner, we were watching the news. We caught the story of an amo who threw his maid into jail for stealing stuff from him. They shopwed the maid crying behind bas. Cut to: after dinner. "Mama, if our maids steal, let's just fire them, ok? Don't put them in jail! Cause they are so poor."

Text from Maricel: Is this son God-given or what?

Joey: Mama, I haven't met a nicer girl than you. And even if you are old, you are still pretty to me!

Guessing Game

JOEY: Lord, Thank you for helping me pass the La Salle text. I ask for forgiveness for guessing, but thank You for helping me to guess right. In Jesus name."

Lifestyles of the Rich and Crowded

Joey and his family had dinner at the mansion of the Filipina Princess of Burnei. After surveying the humongous house, the gardens, and pools, Joey said: I think it's hard for the princess to be happy. When you're rich, people crowd you a lot.

Joeyzilla

After watching the Godzilla movie, Joey declared: I am going to mutate a lizard and make another Godzilla... but I will make sure it never goes inside mama's room.

WHY I BELIVE IN GOD
by Joey Arenas (age 8)

1. I beliv in God bcase? My mother togth me that He ws real when I was yung.
2. I got interested in His power
3. I learned why He died for us
4. Last year, I gave my life to God
5. My papa told me He carfuly made me
6. I belived in Him because of a dream
7. When I woke up he spoke to me
8. I ws astonished by his words
9. He sved me every time
10. So I gave my life to Him
11. I question myself time and time again
12. In church Its like Im in His palace
13. He put a baner over my life
14. He changed my world forever

GROW TALL LITTLE MAN

DAY 1

JOEY: Mama, I want to grow taller. Whats hould I do?

MAMA: Eat the right food, get enough sleep, and let's pray.

(So, Joey prays and dutifully goes to sleep right away)


DAY 2

JOEY (as soon as he opens his eyes): Mama! Did I grow taller?

Cut-to: evening, during dinner time

JOEY (worried and serious) Mama, Tahnee and Joshua said I shrank. I think you need to get me STAND HIGH HEIGHT ENHANCERS.

MAMA: What is that?

JOEY: It's a special kind of sandal with a cream that makes your feet grow tall. It's from China. I saw it on the TV!

MAMA: Joey, I wouldn't want to be taller only because I had really fat feet. Anyway, I don't think that's true.

JOEY: Mama, it's true! The Chinese are really taller than Filipinos.

from the kid's menu

Waiter: Try the "Happy Turkey" sandwich, ma'am. It's a favorite among children.

Mama: You want to try the "Happy Turkey" sandwich, Joey?

Joey: How can it be happy if it's dead?

Lions and Tigers and Molluscs! Oh my!

MOM: Ok Joey, what do you call a mollusc witha two-part shell?

JOEY: A bivalve!

MOM: A one-part shell?

JOEY: A carnivalve?


SUPERJOEY

JOEY: I want to a hero. I will be the only national hero that's alive.


KABOOM!

MOM: Joey, at some point you have to learn to study by yourself. when do you think you should start?

JOEY: But mama, I'm like a bomb. I can explode anytime. I told you I can't control myself. I need someone to control me.


BAD LUCK JOE

JOEY: Mama, I am praying to God to not make me happy because everytime I'm happy something bad happens after 15 minutes.

MOM: Here's a new toy helicopter for you. How do you feel?

JOEY: (smiles and then treis to be serious) I am happy but I'm trying hard not to be.